What should you do when your family does not support your dream?
Keep dreaming, keep going, keep learning and keep growing. Welcome to Impact 60 Seconds of Motivational Mojo. I was just watching the Super Bowl and the whole world saw Eli Manning’s reaction to Big Brother Peyton Manning winning his Second Super Bowl in four tries. You have to wonder; why Eli who is surrounded by his happy family is so sad.
Don’t let your family or your friends kill your dreams. Keep dreaming, keep going, keep learning and keep growing. Family Rivalries are nothing new. Some of the top Movie Stars and Musicians have gone through it; so learn from it, your dreams are your dreams. Your family may not supportive or may not be happy for you. You may have to be happy for yourself. Your friends may try to hold you back, you may have to find new friends; this is all part of learning and growing.
I am not going to go on and on about the fact that you family and friends may not know who to support your dream, they may not be happy for you. They may be jealous of the fact that you have a dream that is different from theirs; or maybe they do not have a dream at all. Keep dreaming, keep going, keep learning and keep growing.
That scene in Fred Claus nails the whole issue. The only problem is that was a movie. You may not be so lucky to have a Siblings Anonymous Support Group near you.
What should you do when your family does not support your dream?
Keep dreaming, keep going, keep learning and keep growing.
Welcome to 60 Seconds of Motivational Mojo. I am trying to spread a positive message that we can all still learn to chase our dreams. I am here to spread a message that we can all make a difference. The best way for us to make that difference is to find common ground and help build a system where everyone can share in the benefits. The best way to make a difference is to unleash the Leader that is inside of you. The best way to unleash that Leader is to learn to listen and learn to lead.
In the past year, I have learned the power and importance of active listening. If you have read a few of my posts, you may know that I am a musician at heart. I have spent more than half of my life making music and entertaining people. I play the Drums and I play Bass Guitar in a Praise Band. I am not ashamed to admit it. Most of the times I end up playing the Drums because I am the only Drummer that shows up on a consistent basis; I would rather play the Bass Guitar, but I have also learned that you can have more influence if you are willing to do what is needed the most. If you are willing to show others that you will put the good of the group in front of your personal aspiration, the people in the group will respect you more. There was a time that I played the Bass Guitar without a Drummer playing in the group and it just did not sound right, it did not sound correct. I learned that I was making a bigger impact filling in on the Drums whenever we needed a Drummer than playing the Bass Guitar, the instrument I would rather play. My Submission, My Commitment and Servitude to the group has helped me in my quest to help the group grow and give it direction. People can see I am willing to do what is needed most (play the drums) rather than what I would like to do most (play the Bass Guitar) for the good of the group.
When I play the Drums, I have learned to listen very closely to the music and provide a solid foundation and accent what is being sung and what is being played by everyone else. I have learned to provide a steady beat and make space for others to shine through and accent what they are doing. I have learned that sometimes a Leader let’s others take the Lead and provides support for them. I have learned because I listen to what others are playing and not just expect them to follow what I am playing. I have learned to become a better leader by becoming a better listener.
When I play the Bass Guitar, I have to listen very closely to the Drums and Accent the Beat while also providing the Foundation of what the Guitar and Keyboards are playing. Lots of times I do not have an amp or any stage monitor when I play the Bass. I have to hear what is coming from the Main Sound System. This means I am one of the last person to hear what I am playing on the Bass. I have to listen more actively and more closely than ever when I get a chance to play the Bass Guitar. I also have to think and prepare to play whatever is needed most. Most weeks it is the Drums, Some weeks it is the Bass; I have to be ready to do both.
Some people think a Leader should be better at everything than everyone else. That is not true. In my opinion a Leader gives others a chance to shine and supports them the best way they can. I have learned by being ready to do whatever I am called to do is the best thing for the group. Because the rest of the group knows I am willing to sacrifice for the good of the group, they listen and appreciate the suggestions I make. They also listen to music I have been sharing with them. More and more of the songs we are playing are on CD’s I have shared with others in the group. By playing the Drums and Playing the Bass, by showing I am actively listening; I have learned to become a better Leader. I have also been trying to teach others, basic lessons for people who say they want to learn the drums. I have been showing basic exercises for Guitar and Bass Players to improve their skills. I also must challenge myself to keep improving and keep getting better; to be ready to do whatever I am called to do.
I have learned to become a better listener; and while being a better listener I am learning to become a better leader! You can do the same. You can learn by listening to those around you; and you can lead by showing them you are listening to and meeting their needs. Learn to lead through active listening! Learn through listening and lead through learning.
Welcome to 60 Seconds of Motivational Mojo: How would you like to become better at something? How would you like to leave a lasting impact? It is really simple. Proactive Mentoring will not only make the people around you better, but also make you a better leader. What do I mean by Proactive Mentoring? I will try to explain. Proactive Mentoring: Unleash the leader in you!
First let’s define Proactive: Acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty; anticipatory:
Now let’s define Mentoring: To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher to (another person)
So it is really easy to put the two together: To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher to another person acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty; anticipatory: This is Proactive Mentoring. Now the reason I say this will unleash the leader in you is because when you teach others you will learn for yourself. Now there is a difference between teaching someone and ordering someone to do something. A wise teacher learns through the eyes of their students. So if you are a trusted counselor and you are helping someone reach their goals, hopefully you will not tell them what to do, but you will show them what to do. Hopefully you have common goals, otherwise why are you their mentor? If you are acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty, it means you have experience, and you are trying to safely pass that experience to someone else. You are not putting them in harms way, you are trying to show them how to avoid harms way.
Now, how can I cook up a good example for you to better understand? Think about maintenance of your car. Some people wait until things go wrong before they take their car to a mechanic, this is called reactive maintenance. Something goes wrong and then you fix it. Other people check things like their tires and their brakes on a regular basis, this is called Preventive Maintenance. You check and fix things before something goes wrong. Then there are people who take their car into the shop for every oil change and get their brakes done based on the number of miles they have driven if it needs fixing or not. This is called Predictive Maintenance. You use the known history of things that can go wrong and you fix problems before they happen. This is the most Proactive Style of Maintenance.
Ok, let’s say you like to play the guitar and you want to play on stage. It would be wise for you to get around people who have been on stage and ask them what they have been through, but pick your mentors carefully. Now if you are a guitar player and someone came to you and asked you what you have been through, will you give them the best advice possible or will you ignore them and turn them away? Would you help them get ready to perform on stage, practice with them and maybe even loan them the things they might need in case they break a string or break a cord that plugs into their equipment? Will you mentor them through the problems you have experienced? Maybe you are an established musician but you need to warm up act or a song writing partner. Who better to choose from than people you have worked with in advance. Maybe you work with your trainees at smaller shows and open microphone nights to get them ready for their big break. Maybe if they make it big, they will help you out in return. Who knows, but being a proactive mentor helps your chances.
Now how does this apply to leadership and to business? Well if you are going to start your own business, do you want to know who you can trust so you can take some time off? Do you want to know who you could put in charge of a second or third store as your business grows? Why not teach someone how do deal with things that may go wrong before they go wrong. You might learn from them in the process. You may learn there are things you are good at and things the people you are working with are good at that they can teach you.
There is a big difference between being a mentor and being a boss. Bosses like to give orders. Mentors try to create a system where everyone can learn. Servant Leadership is a great start, the Proactive Mentor is even better. Servant Leaders think about others before they think about themselves. A Proactive Mentor can leave things in well prepared hands. It is great to be the magic that makes things happen, but it is even better to teach others the magic also. Teaching others means you do not have to be all things at all times in all places. This is how businesses grow. This is how systems are developed. This is how people learn. By mentoring others and continuing to learn for them selves.
Unleash the leader in you. Teach others how to do the things you do, and also continue to learn for yourself. Be proactive and be trustworthy. Be the type of person you would like to follow. Be a Proactive Mentor and unleash the leader in you.
I am building something here. Like a kid at the beach with a bucket making sand castles. I am building as I go, learning, experimenting, fixing. When I am done maybe this will all be washed away by high tide, or kicked over by the bigger kids playing big kid games. I don’t know, and it won’t change my efforts.
I have done a post on dreaming
I have done a post on wishing on a star
I have done a post on leading
I have done a post on starting
I have done a post on finishing
I am building something here. Every post is like another trip to the beach, building another sand castle. In some strange pursuit of perfection, more buckets, more pails, more sand, more water, and more experiments until I find that castle that is a sight to behold. When I am done the big kids will take a look and say good job, and maybe move their game a little to the side and let my castle live another day, or at least until high tide.
I have admitted I am not perfect.
I have asked the question, who am I.
Each post is building on all the other posts, learning more as I go. Like a kid at the beach building sand castles. I will build the castle that won’t be washed away by high tide, or kicked over by the bigger kids playing big kid games. Then again given enough time all castles are washed away by high tide or kicked over by bigger kids playing big kid games. It is only a matter of time, but maybe for now I can try to make a castle that is picture perfect.
Have you read my blog and thought, “This guy is a hack?” Well that is true, I am learning as I go. I am a hack. I have never really been a formal journalist or anything. Not an excuse an admission.
There is a little factoid called the Princeton Learning Principal. 70% of what we learn, we learn by doing, 20% by coaching and 10% through formal education. So I am learning to draw a line in the sand and keep at it along the way.
Will I become a better writer? I sure hope so, but more importantly I am looking to make an honest connection to the people who end up reading these posts. I am hoping I can inspire other people to not wait for things to be perfect, but to get up and do, and learn along the way.
Really what I am guilty of? Writing a few typos, some run on sentences and some dangling participles? Sometimes spell check and format cheek help but sometimes I just can’t find the right way to say the things I am writing, typing, posting and blogging.
Again, there are thousands of bloggers and there are millions of people cross connected. I am not a professional writer, I am an amateur know it all to some and maybe I aspire to be an inspiration to others, including myself. I have something to prove, that I can do it. I have something else to prove, that you can do it. I just need your help on the second part. Everyone can chase their dreams, as long as they have a dream to chase.
70% of the learning is the doing. Figure out your dream and chase it. Along the way you will run into to others who are heading in the same direction you are… watch them and then maybe pick up a coach or mentor. Be careful who you listen to… Heck you don’t even have to listen to me. Again I digress. I am learning this as I go.
Call me a hack, but don’t call me late for dinner. I am a hack who is going to keep hacking away until I get it right. I hope you can say you will do the same.
Learning to be a leader is not an easy task, but it is always worth while.
Don’t let training to be a leader scare you, it is always, always, always worth it. It is ok to start small but you have to start. And it is better to try and fail then to not try at all. If you try and fail you can learn from your mistakes. If you never try, you have nothing to learn from. This is another reason it is ok to start small, the mistakes you make early on can be fixed.
It’s ok to try and fail and learn and try again. It is a lot better than trying and failing and quitting. Another reason it is ok to start small is you can make adjustments and continue to learn. Every shot not taking misses, and every shot you take that misses is a chance to adjust. Practice, Practice, Practice. Great Players, just show up and play. Winners, Practice, Practice, Practice and Champions lead by example in practice and when it counts. Champions make everyone around them better! Champions are Leaders!
So when learning to lead, always see the long off goal, and break it down to short term goals and practice, practice. Start small and develop the correct habits, make the correct adjustments, until the best practices turn into the correct habits and just seem to come naturally. Work hard until it comes easy. When it comes easy, keep at it until you can do it in your sleep; make people say you make it look easy!
Learning to be a leader is not an easy task, but it is always worth while.
Be a difference maker. Be a dreamer and always check the facts, double check the facts. Be relentless in your search for truth. Chase perfection with every breath, every once of sweat, every drop of blood. Yeah it sounds crazy, but I say staying the same is crazy. Why not be the one who makes things better?
I have screwed up more times than I can count, but I can not and will not let the dream die. Even if I never get there, I hope the next person does get there. So I can never stop learning and trying to get better. I wish I could go back and fix all my mistakes, but I can’t… I have to try to pay it forward, and be better than I was in the past. I am trying to learn how to be a leader, be a difference maker, and along the way I hope I can inspire as many people as possible to do the same thing.
Maybe I got is all wrong, maybe I am lost in the wilderness, but I think I am right. I am trying to keep chasing my dreams, and dream bigger than my reality. I am searching for the win / win on all sides. I am learning, teaching, allowing my self to be coached and mentored, and trying to be a coach and a mentor.
Learning to be a leader is not an easy task, but I am fully convinced it is always worthwhile.