Anti-Social Media:
What are we doing? I was in a restaurant for lunch the other day and so two people sitting right next to each other. Each of them were staring into their laptops wearing headphones. Two people were sitting right next to each other, not talking to each other, but each of them were into their own little world. I then looked around and noticed a restaurant for of people staring into their phones, texting; or checking their e-mail or messages on their notebook computers and tablets. I had one of those moments, and epiphany; social media is making us antisocial people.
Here we were in a crowded restaurant and everyone was worried about the status updates of their friends and the news of the world or the work at hand as long as it was coming from a Wi-Fi or cell phone link. Everyone was chatting with someone on the internet but no one was talking to the people right next to them. What has all this texting and chatting done to us? All of this social media is making us anti-social. When is the last time you struck up a conversation with someone when you were standing in line? Now don’t get me wrong, I am guilty of this also. Sometimes I am more intrigued with my virtual world connections that I am by the real boring world where we live, work, eat and sleep.
My epiphany; my sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. What did it all mean, Anti-Social Media? Are we spending so much time making virtual connections that we are not making real world connections? Is our on-line profile more import than our off-line life? Are we more on when we are on-line than we are when we are switched off? So you ask, O.K. Joe; all of this insight but what are you doing about it?
I believe we need to us social media to make a real world difference. A few Online friends of mine and I are putting together a Motivational Conference to help Empower People, Build Teams and Develop Leadership. What does all of that mean? It means we are trying to do more than connect online. We are trying to make those online connections bring real world change. It means we are going to connect off-line and try to be who we say we are online in the real world. The real world is more than a reality show or a movie. We must connect with people; maybe start taking to each other face to face. Even in a crowded room we are all alone on our own little islands, we are all in our own little virtual worlds.
Anti-Social Media: Social Media should be more than just who’s zooming who; or showing off a world we wish we could live in. Social Media should help us connect off-line and help each other, not just be in each other’s business; or should I say be in each other’s busy-mess? We are spending so much time trying to make on-line connections that our off-line world is falling apart. Neighborhoods are in decay. Children are more confident and less capable. People are still bullying each other and feeling neglected. It should be easier for us to connect and build something that will last.
There is nothing wrong with have thousands of connections, but how many true friends do you have? Real friends, people you could count on to help you if your car broke down and you needed someone to pick you up if you were stranded on the side of the road. Are we so worried about or Social Media updates we are forgetting to connect with the people around us? Is Social Media making us Anti-Social People?
Building an airport:
I am still amazed by airports. I have spent more than my fair share of time in airports. It still amazes me that I can hand my luggage to someone in one city and it magically appears when I get off the airplane in another city. In major airports hundreds or planes take off and land every day. In major airports, thousands and thousands of people pass through everyday on their way to work or on their way to a vacation. I am still amazed by airports. Imagine what it would take to build an airport.
Any airport big or small would need a fair amount of planning and hopefully a team of people working together to make it successful. Even the smallest airport needs a runway, an air traffic control system, a place to store airplanes, a place to refuel airplanes and even a place to work on the airplanes. Do you thing on person could do all of those jobs? No I would imagine it would take a team of people working together to make those things happen. Now imagine a large airport where you also need travel agents, rental cars, parking garages, restaurants and convenience shops. Do you think one person could run all of those businesses? I would beg to differ. I am convinced that it takes team of people working together to make an airport run smoothly.
Most people do not look forward to going to an airport. Most of the times it means lots of traffic, lots of people, long lines and sometimes lots of confusion. I am amazed every time I arrive at or depart from an airport. I have lost count of how many times I have got on and off an airplane safely. Yes, there was the one time my luggage went to the wrong city, but I am still here. I am still standing. There have been hundreds of times that my luggage was waiting for me when I got off the plane.
Can you imagine all the planning that goes into building or expanding an airport? Do you ever stop and think about all the things that have to go right versus all the things that can go wrong. If we were to take a minute to appreciate the things we take for granted, you can see how much can get done to if people will work together.
I love planning Simulation games; Sim City, Paradise Island or Airport City. Yeah I love playing them. These are free plugs, I am not getting paid for click-throughs, yet. Insert smiley here: In the Airport City game, you can build an airport and a town that surrounds it. Moving things around, buying and selling things is as simple as drag and drop in the computer world. Now think about all the planning it would take to do these things in the real world. Let’s stop taking these things for granted and learn from them. Let learn to work together to make the world better, while we marvel at how amazing things are right now.
Every month it seems, I drive to or from or by a major airport. Every time I am near an airport, I watch dozens of airplanes take off and land. Every day I look up in the sky and think of things we take for granted and how the world is an amazing place. Take some time and think about what it would take to build an airport. Now think about all the things you could get done if you could get people to work together.
Do you ask questions when you should be making statements?
Have you ever encountered the kind of person who will ask you what you think about something and then only accept the answer that they think is correct? Or have you ever encountered the kind of person who asks what everyone else thinks about something and then never makes up their own mind about what they think? They are two very different kinds of people, but they are on opposite sides of the same coin. They ask questions when they should be making statements. I will try to help you identify this situation.
Be careful of people who ask questions and either only want to hear one predetermined answer, or never state where they stand. It is a special kind of slippery in my mind to be this kind of person. If you are taking an opinion poll, you should ask multiple choice questions. Not yes or no type questions. If you already know the answer you want to hear, why bother asking the question in the first place.
Like let’s ask a very simple question. Do you think God is good? Now the obvious answer is Yes, God is good or why would God be God? That is my statement. That is my stance. Now I could ask the question “Do you think God is good?” Then after you say “Yes,” I ask a follow-up question like, “Then why does God allow war?” Do you see what I am doing there? I am asking a bunch of questions to stir up conversation. Now if I had a statement to make, it would be something to the effect of “God is good even though he allows mankind to war, because mankind has a choice to make war or peace with each other.” Do you see the difference? Instead of asking a series of questions I can make a statement, I can make a stand.
I think the reason that some people use this special kind of slippery open-ended question approach is so the can appear politically correct on the surface and still get their way in the end. I think if you know the answer in your own mind, you should state it that way. If you are asking a question, because you want better understanding, you should also state it that way. Now I might seem kind of harsh, but I have been victim of endless circular arguments that go absolutely nowhere. This is the essence of divisive politics. It divides and solves nothing. Leaders should unite and solve problems. Maybe leaders should make a stand, solve a problem and show people that working together is the best way for everyone. Now do you get where I am coming from?
Are you afraid to make a stand? If it is because you don’t know the facts, then say that you would like people’s input. But if you ask the question, sooner or later; you should provide your answer. If you already know what you believe, why would you phrase it in the form of a question? Just to stimulate conversation? That would be fine if you are a game show host, or a truly neutral reporter or journalist. How hard is it to be truly neutral though? Are we not all looking for the best answers we can find? If you know the answers, you would be teaching without malice intent. If you are one of those bosses who are never wrong yet trying to appear kind and gentle, well then again a special kind of slippery.
Be very careful around people who are always asking questions, but never really giving solid answers. They may be very clever, clever like a fox. I am a somewhat confrontational person. I want to know what people say they stand for, and then I like to step back and watch if people are who they say they are. This is because I have crossed to many people who say one thing and do another. There is much work to be done in this world. We all need to get down to business. Either we are going to help each other or we are not. There is not a lot of time for circular arguments that go nowhere unless it is your job to divide people. Ever heard of Divide and Conquer? How about United We Stand? Make a stand, make a statement! That’s what I believe!
Watch out for greed.
Money changes everything: Cyndi Lauper sang this song in the 1980’s. I tell people they should do what they love and then figure out the money part. You still have to figure out the money part. I have found myself watching what I would like to call my “Greed” movies. I want to be able to do great things one day, hopefully one day soon without getting greedy. I watch these movies as a warning of how terribly wrong things can go when greed goes unchecked.
Wall Street: The classic 1980’s movie about money and power and greed. How many people ran around saying “Greed is Good” because of this movie? Well greed left unchecked is not so good. So how do you become successful without becoming greedy? I guess this is why I am watching these movies, so I can know exactly what to watch out for, or a least know the stereotypes.
Glengarry Glen Ross: A film from the 1990’s based on a play from the 1960’s. Real Estate deals and Greed running wild, it looks like greed plays in any decade. So I take away it is not good to set up winner take all systems. Maybe we should work a little harder to share the wealth?
Boiler Room: Welcome to the year 2000 and our old enemy greed is still at play. What happens when a bunch of fans of the movie “Wall Street” set up a company pushing fake stocks and bonds?
The Joneses: The year is now 2009 and what if we were all being duped into trying to keep up with a Fictional Family that is being paid to Stealth Market us products we can afford?
Too Big To Fail: A 2009 book, a 2010 movie, a phrase and a reality all rolled into one. So many of us got caught up in this and so many of us got burned. But a select view came out bigger and better than ever. Does is make you scratch you head? If we only knew then what we know now:
Wall Street – Money Never Sleeps: Can people get over their greed? Can they be redeemed? Is there hope for us all? Against the backdrop chronicled in “Too Big To Fail” we find a man even greedier than “Gordon Gekko.” We also learn that greed never sleeps, so how can we do something great and still sleep at night?
Margin Call: A 2011 Film that creates a Fictional Nameless Day in the life of the company that started the market Turmoil that rings so true in “Too Big To Fail.” Is there a moral to the story? Is there in answer in all of this? I certain hope so. Greed is not a victim less crime.
If you take the time to watch any or all of these movies, I can only hand you one piece of advice. Greed will slowly sneak up on you. It will slowly try to convince you that it is OK to have way, way, way more than you need. Now, I am telling you to try to do something good, try to do something great. Try to leave a lasting legacy. I am not asking you to take a vow of poverty, but I am asking you to watch out for greed. Do not be motivated by the wealth that you can hoard, be motivated by the good that you can do if you share the wealth and create the best possible system for everyone involved. Can we do something great and still share the wealth? I am honestly trying with all my might.
Honest Arrogance versus False Humility.
Honest Arrogance versus False Humility.
Welcome to 60 Seconds of Motivational Mojo. I am here today to challenge you. I see things differently. I do not see a world that is Black and White; I see a world of many colors, many hues and many shades. Today I would like to talk about people who are appear to be humble and people who appear to be arrogant. Rarely if ever have I been called humble. It does not bother me if someone says I am arrogant. I would rather be arrogant and really be working hard to better myself than to be falsely humble. What do I mean by this? Honest Arrogance versus False Humility? Please read the rest of this post.
Honest: free from fraud or deception
Arrogant: exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one’s own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner
Confident: having or showing assurance and self-reliance
Humble: not proud or haughty: not arrogant or assertive
False: A : intentionally untrue. B: adjusted or made so as to deceive
If you read through the definitions above, it is hard to be Confident and Humble at the same time. I think it is a very though balancing act. Sometimes Arrogance is defined as Over Confidence. So how do you keep your confidence contained, and remain humble? I believe you must have faith in something bigger than yourself and yet still remain confident in your abilities. In a perfect would, everyone who is humble is honest. Yet we all know better. How many times have we been burned by Politicians, Salespeople, or bosses and even our friends who promised one thing and the minute our backs were turned did something different?
Remember, I am far from perfect; but I am not trying to deceive anyone. If I appear arrogant, it is because I am. I am over-confident. I do believe that if you check the facts, chase your dreams and will do the work you will be successful. I believe if it will work for you it will work for me also. I am not running for office, or trying to sell you a car, or overcharging you to fix your car, or asking to borrow your car; I am trying to convince you to chase your dreams.
The world is full of people and we are not all alike, but I have seen too many people who have appeared to be humble to get what they want, and they are more arrogant than I am after their true colors start to show through. I am not afraid to say that I am stubborn and arrogant. I am also not afraid to say that I am working on being a better listener, a better servant, and hopefully a better leader. It is OK to be confident if you have put your time in checking your facts and practicing to be the best you can be. It is very hard to be both confident and humble.
Again, how many times have you seen people act humble, but once you find out the truth you would never deal with that person again? How many people trust used car salespeople? Yet we are forever buying used cars. How many times have we been lied to by politicians who claim they will look out for the greater good and yet we find out they are looking out for their own inner circle? Yet we are forever hoping the next guy will change the world. If we can not be honest with ourselves, I think we are expecting to be lied too.
I would rather be Honestly Arrogant then Falsely Humble. I would rather walk around saying, “I am great, you are great, we can all be great together!” Then walk around saying “Pity me, I need help.” Are you understanding where I am coming from yet? If you are confident, be honestly confident. If you are humbled, be truly humbled or be truly honored by what God can and will do for you. In my book it is better to be confident and labeled as arrogant, than to fake your way through a pity party. Yes I hate pity parties with a perfect hate. I know I am on a slippery slope when I say that. Maybe you should search it out for yourself. I am not one to take part in pity parties. I would rather be angry, arrogant and alone trying to fix myself; then deceive others based on false humility. I can not cry fake tears and lie to people knowing I only wish to deceive them
Try to understand where I am coming from and you will understand me a lot better. I believe we can be great, but we have to stop singing “O Woe is Me.” I truly believe we can be great together, but it is hard to be great when people are lying to each other to get undeserved sympathy. People have got to work together. The world will not change because we sit around crying about how bad we have it. Maybe the world will change if we appreciate what we have and we try to make things even better. Does that sound arrogant? Will, I am Honestly and Truly Arrogant in my stance. We can be great together if we are willing to be truthful with each other and work as a team!
Rarely if ever have I been called humble. It does not bother me if someone says I am arrogant. I would rather be arrogant and really be working hard to better myself than to be falsely humble.
I still have hope.
Some days it seems the world will try to beat you down. Some days it seems that everything you try to do will be tested. I pray you have a dream you are chasing. I pray you have a vision and a plan. I pray that you will succeed in your worthy endeavors. I pray that you will never lose hope. I still have hope.
If you looked at my life, you may see many things. You may see my failures or you may see my accomplishments. You may see the good or bad I have done. You may see the mistakes I have made or the lessons I have learned. I would pray you see that I still have hope.
I am a man who is swimming in debt; notice I said swimming and not drowning. I am a man who has seen the shore and I have seen the horizon. I am a man who is reaching for both. I want to be on solid ground so I can do more to help others. I do the best I can to help others along the way. I am a man who still has dreams. I dream and I plan and I reach for those dreams by breaking them down into steps. I am a man who tries to double-check to make sure I have my facts straight and still I reach for that horizon. I still have hope.
I am not one for spreading bad news. I have my share of failures and lessons and challenges that I am facing. I wish I could do more to heal my family and friends and lessen their burdens. I can not do it all myself, so I believe you need to be part of a team. I still believe, I still dream big and I still have hope.
Again, I hope and pray that you have a dream. I hope and pray that you have a vision and a plan. I hope that you still have hope. I still have hope.
My hope is bigger than my problems. I hope that yours is also. My dreams and plans are bigger than just what I can do alone. I want to create something that will last after I am gone. I blog what I believe, I draw a line in the sands of cyberspace. I also try to encourage people of all ages to dream big. I ask everyone from 6 months to 60 years old; “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I ask people what their dreams are, and what are they doing to chase those dreams. I have hope. I have enough hope for myself and for everyone that I encounter. I firmly believe there is more than enough room for all of us.
I still have hope.
I want to be better than myself.
I want to be better than me. I want to be better than my old self. I want to keep getting better and better than I ever was. I would hope you would want the same for yourself.
I have been called arrogant. I have been asked if I thought I was better than other people. The fact of the matter is I want to be the best at the things I enjoy doing. If that comes off as arrogant, I will admit; I need to learn to be humble. I am not saying I want to be better than anyone other than myself. I want to be the best I can be at what I do.
Now if I was training for the Olympics, or if I was running for Public Office; I would do my best to do my best. I would tell you of my triumphs and the lessons I learned from my tragedies. I would tell you why I am honored to be in line for whatever awards or accolades may come my way. I would tell you how grateful I am to be your champion or your leader. Why should I not treat my life like the Olympics? Why should I not try to be the best I can be regardless if I am running for public office? I will not lie to you and more importantly I will not lie to myself. The only person I can control in this world is me. I am only trying to keep improving everyday.
I don’t ever want to be quoted as saying, “I am not as bad as so and so.” What is that telling you? Nothing; it tells you nothing of what I am trying to learn, trying to accomplish or trying to improve. When I was young I went to school and learned and tried to keep getting better at the things that interested me or I enjoyed. Now I am older and I have learned that life is a never-ending school and you must challenge yourself to continue to learn and improve.
I don’t want to be better than you, or him or her or them; I want to be better than I was yesterday, or last year or ten years ago. You see I am not waiting around to die; I am attempting to live my life full steam ahead. What do I have to gain by comparing myself to someone else? We all start and end at difference times and in different places. I am trying to do the best I can with the life I have been given. I could not always say that. I used to take this life for granted. Not anymore. I am trying to learn from my mistakes. I will never feel sorry for trying to become better than I was, and neither should you.
Never, ever, never compare yourself to others; compare yourself to yourself. Are you doing the best you can? Are you learning something new everyday? Are you doing your best? Are you building yourself up or are you tearing others down? If you are tearing others down; Stop! Be better than you used to be and let others worry about themselves.
I will not feel bad about the fact that I want to be the best me I can be. I would never want you to be anything less than the best you, you can be. Does this come off as crazy or arrogant? Than call me both. I am not worried about it. You should not worry about it. A lot of times, the people who say that “you think you are better than everyone else” have self-esteem problems. Do not be the one who causes other people’s problems, and don’t feel sorry for trying to be the best than you can be. If you are trying to help others, even better; but you can not take on their pain and I will not take on their pain.
The only way the world gets better is that we work together. The only way we can work together if is everyone pitches in and does their best. If I want to be in the best music group possible, I would surround myself with the best musicians I can find. I would not sit around wondering who is better than me. I would be the best I could be and hope it attracts the best and brings out their best.
Just be better than yourself. I am just trying to be better than I used to be. I am trying to be better than me.
Show Up, Show Out, Show Off and try to remain humble.
Welcome to 60 Seconds of Motivational Mojo. Yes I know what I titled this post. Please give me a minute to explain. I do hope a few of you know where I am headed with this; for the rest of you please give me a chance to explain. Show Up, Show Out, Show Off and try to remain humble.
Show Up: A quick search of Show Up leads to many definitions. In this case, in the case of chasing your dreams; showing up is step one. You must show up. You must arrive, you must learn, you must put your talents on display. Do you want to be just the opposite? Do you want to be a No Show? Listen, I watch a few talents shows on television, and many more talent shows I avoid watching. You can tell some performers are nervous and they crack under pressure. At least they showed up. At least they tried. That is more than you can say for the people who never showed up and never tried. Show Up, Show Out, Show Off and try to remain humble.
Show Out: Showing out, like the term “selling out” can be used in both a negative or positive light. I searched both terms and only found the negative side. Maybe this is a southern sports idiom, but showing out can mean putting on an incredible performance be it on the field or on the stage. Some people think showing out is bad, like when a child misbehaves. I of course like to focus on the positive. Selling out can be judged as bad in some circles in music, selling out and compromising your artistic integrity. Again, I like to focus on the good; I would rather play a sold out show than a half empty one. Show Up, Show Out, Show Off and try to remain humble.
Show Off: Again here is a term that can be taken two ways: (1) To exhibit or display so as to invite admiration or (2) a person who makes a vain display of himself. So remember since we are here to focus on the positive. It is ok to put your talents on display, as long as you are not vain about it. Do your best, set the bar high and then raise it. Set a new standard. Go ahead and show off, as long as you earn it. As long as you can avoid being vain. Show Up, Show Out, Show Off and try to remain humble.
Try to Remain Humble: Let’s look at Humility vs. Vanity: The quality or state of being humble; modest opinion of one’s own importance or rank; meekness vs. Excessive pride in one’s appearance or accomplishments; conceit. “True humility” is distinctly different from “false humility” which consists of deprecating one’s own sanctity, gifts, talents, and accomplishments for the sake of receiving praise or adulation from others. Notice how I have said try to remain humble. Who among us aspire to get up on stage and not hear applause from the crowd? Who among us want to get up on stage and not Show Off just a little? Come one, tell the truth, if you have a true talent and are chasing your dreams, do you not wish upon a star just a little?
Your talent is an honor and a privilege. Respect it, practice it, honor it and put it on display. Realizing that it is an honor and a privilege to reach high levels of success can keep you truly humble. Too much pride is a bad thing; a little pride will keep you practicing. Show Up, Show Out, Show Off and try to remain humble; do you get it now?
Some people are afraid to fly!
Have you ever flown on an airplane? Do you know anyone who has flown on an airplane? I know people who are afraid to fly. In a day an age where thousands of airplanes take of and land around the world everyday, there are people who are afraid to fly. It is almost like saying you are afraid of being successful.
Strong words aren’t they? People who are afraid to fly are afraid to be successful. Imagine for a moment that you start a successful business or you are a in demand public figure. Will you be able to manage a successful career without getting on an airplane and flying? Will you be able to travel the world for business or to take a vacation without flying? Yes you could, it will just take longer. The more successful you become the more you will realize that your time is your most valuable asset. Minimizing the time to get from point A to point B will give you more time to get things done, or relax and enjoy your time off. Being afraid to fly is like saying you are afraid of being successful.
I know people who are afraid of flying, and to me it sounds like they are afraid of being successful. I am not a big shot yet. I am not powerful, rich or famous by the world’s standards yet. I am powerful on the inside. I am a little shot who is still shooting, and I am not afraid to fly. Early in my career as an engineer I would fly on a regular basis. For the last couple of years I have been flying on a regular basis yet again.
I am amazed by major airports where over 100 planes an hour take off and land. There is nothing like looking out the window of an airplane while it takes off or lands. There is nothing like looking out the window of an airplane that is about to take off and seeing planes lined up waiting for their turn on a runway. There is nothing like looking out the window of a plane that is about to land and seeing other planes circling the airport waiting for their turn to land. There is nothing like driving to an airport during the busiest hours and watching planes taking off and landing every minute.
Every major city, every major airport has hundreds of planes taking off and landing everyday and yet there are people who are afraid to fly. I am sure you know someone who is afraid to fly. I hope you know someone who is considered successful and living an honest life that can be an example for others. Now who many people do you know who are successful and afraid to fly? I am not talking about being cautious about flying. I am not talking about being reckless about flying. I am not taking about being a daredevil. I am talking about people who are considered successful and yet are still afraid to fly. Even if they are afraid to fly, if they are successful they will overcome their fear and fly when it is necessary.
The world is always turning. The global economy never sleeps. Factories are running almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in some cases. Travel for business or for leisure is one of the largest industries in the world. How do become successful if you are afraid to fly? Let me say again, I am not talking about being reckless; no I am talking about facing your fears. So many times before I have heard, read and watched in movies that a major key to becoming successful is facing and overcoming your fears. Yet, I hear people say over and over again that they are afraid to fly.
I am not afraid to fly. I am not afraid to face my fears. I am not afraid of becoming successful. I hope and pray you are not afraid of becoming successful. I hope and pray you are not afraid to face and overcome your fears. I hope and pray you are not afraid to fly.
60secondmotomojo 